Kylie Jenner Vs. Me at 16

Nothing good ever comes out of being bored on the Internet. Instead of skipping down the sidewalk, shedding lbs, I stumbled across the fact that Kylie Jenner is celebrating her 16th birthday, today, August 10th. 

16 was a horrible year for me.  For starters, I didn’t have Kardashian hair that could cover my fat ass.  And, I didn’t have a clue how to use a tube of red lipstick – I thought you were only supposed to use it when you were planning on going to a strip club.

In the linked article above, Kylie’s mother, Kris, writes, “You are one of the biggest loves of my life and my world forever changed the day you were born!!” How cute.  I’m pretty sure my mother considers me as the girl that steals all of her food and constantly whines about how the world would be so much better if there was more chicken in it.  And the day I was born?  She remembers that day as the day all of her organs were placed on the table next to her so I could be catapulted into this world.

Kris goes on to say, “I could never put into words how much I love and adore you…but wow I do!!!!!”  I don’t mean to make fun of myself, but I don’t think anyone adores me that much – except the lady that waxes my eyebrows.  She is truly passionate about eyebrow hair removal and simply adores the way I appreciate her.  Kylie, you are super lucky to have such a girlfriend bond with your “mommy”.

Happy Birthday!  I know your birthday cake won’t turn straight into back fat, like mine has every year since that Sweet Sixteen.

Why I Love Kate

I adore Kate Middleton – and not because she just gave birth to a Prince or is married to a dashing man named William.

She gets to wear the kind of hats that I wish I could wear grocery shopping.

She gets to interact with tiny Asian sensations.

She gets to wave like this whenever she wants – even if she feels like having a meatball feast.

She has an umbrella holder that is sort of attractive.

Prince Harry.

The new way of taking pictures!

It’s always the same.

You mention that you are going to the zoo or the mall or the chicken stand and right away people expect pictures – pictures of the polar bear or the new skirt or the biscuits.

I’m the first one to admit that I document my whole life with my iPhone, but sometimes you need to shake things up.

That’s why I went an entire day taking pictures like this. Continue reading