Nothing good ever comes out of being bored on the Internet. Instead of skipping down the sidewalk, shedding lbs, I stumbled across the fact that Kylie Jenner is celebrating her 16th birthday, today, August 10th.
16 was a horrible year for me. For starters, I didn’t have Kardashian hair that could cover my fat ass. And, I didn’t have a clue how to use a tube of red lipstick – I thought you were only supposed to use it when you were planning on going to a strip club.
In the linked article above, Kylie’s mother, Kris, writes, “You are one of the biggest loves of my life and my world forever changed the day you were born!!” How cute. I’m pretty sure my mother considers me as the girl that steals all of her food and constantly whines about how the world would be so much better if there was more chicken in it. And the day I was born? She remembers that day as the day all of her organs were placed on the table next to her so I could be catapulted into this world.
Kris goes on to say, “I could never put into words how much I love and adore you…but wow I do!!!!!” I don’t mean to make fun of myself, but I don’t think anyone adores me that much – except the lady that waxes my eyebrows. She is truly passionate about eyebrow hair removal and simply adores the way I appreciate her. Kylie, you are super lucky to have such a girlfriend bond with your “mommy”.
Happy Birthday! I know your birthday cake won’t turn straight into back fat, like mine has every year since that Sweet Sixteen.